Gobble Gobble?

It's here,
thanksgiving.
oboi
I can't wait to stuff my face.

the continuation of my
chronic headaches is well...
Continuing?
Yeah,
I woke up with another one today.
I'm going to the doctors on monday to get this checked out.

OH YEAH.
I broke my finger.
well...it's not broken,
It's called a chip Fracture.
I fractured the bone,
and also chipped it.
So I goss a piece of bone
floatin around my right pinky finger.

okay,
I'm not depressed at the moment,
which I guess is good.
But I'm cold,
and hungry.
Imma go eats.


OMNOMNOM
Caio.

Happy Thanksgiving,
lets have our gov't go kill more Native Americans.

Some Silly Love Poem.

Okay so,
Weekly list of things that have happened:
1. My suicidal thoughts are back
2. I had therapy today instead of tomorrow
3. tomorrow is going to suck until 12.
4. I wrote a poem for Nicholas, because he didn't want me to buy him a present.

Here it is.

In a matter of speaking
I guess I could say
"I love you"
In a number of ways

You really know I care
when you sit there and stare
and all I can really do
is return with a giggle, pout, glare

I really know you love me
when you hold me right
your heartbeat gets lighter
your hands squeeze tight
Your smile makes my day
that goofy voice makes my night
I know I love you more and more
especially when we fight.

I love you
I hate you
You’re stupid
and you’re weird
you’re silly
you’re perfect
I love you,
so there

<3

caio.

Your Song

"How wonderful Life is,
Now you're in the world."
Moulin Rouge really is
My favorite movie of all time.

Well Hello hello,
how is everyone?
Oh why am I asking?
no one reads this.
FINE, I'll just
ask myself.

Hullo me, how am I doing?
I'm not doing too great.
What a suprise!
I love your sarcasm.
oh I know isn't it great?
yeah...well anyway, my week
has been very poor indeed.
I was sick sunday through tuesday
and wednesday I got my report card
and went to youth group
and got psised off by
some bitch that goes there.
even though she really shouldn't go.
Aw, that sucks
I know, shut up, I'm trying to complain here.
Oh, sorry, go on.
thank you.
ANYWAY,
the next morning,
[TODAY!]
Queen Bitch(mother)
looked at my report card
and gave me the
"you're fucking retarded" speech
Thanks, ma.
Yeah, she really is a bitch.
yes yes, we agree.

Anyway, yeah
today is thursday.
No more writing classes
daddy's at AA
I'm home alone
My boyfriend is with his friends
My best friends
are both out
well..
God knows where jaxie is xD

Liz, I think we're done here.
I think so too.

Ciao.

"Someone needs to update their journal"

thanks, Jackie.

So here it is,
my new post.

This week went
pretty well, although
Matthew went to the hospital
for apendicitis.
He is okay now
and I'm glad :]
I don't know what I'd do
if that kid got seriously sick.

I saw Kerry
and spent the day with her
all day on Tuesday.
It was sooo much fun<3

I haven't really
been sad this week
Except for friday night.

I think I'm spiralling downhill a little.

stupidsuicidalthoughts.

blah blah blah

So,

I'm depressed and I might

go lay in my bed

So I can just curl up

into a little ball

and cry myself to sleep.

Sounds like a date, then.

ciao.

Hair Straighteners and Therapy

You annoy me.

I'm leaving that sentance
open for anyone
Because it applies
to more than one person.

Now Then.
Therapy went...
er..
well, it went.
I don't feel better
nor do I feel worse.

Kerry might be getting
out of the basket bin
On monday.
I can't wait to go
to porkey's with her <3

Today is sunday.
Sunday sucks.
Want to know why?
I had to wake up early
go to church
Bring my dog to the vet
and get him a cone
because he likes to
chew his skin off.
And Now?
I have a 3:00PM game
is WEST ISLIP.
Bloody hell,
I fucking hate late games.


there goes my day.

Depression

yeahh,
I'm depressed again.
I don't know why.
god
I hate this
stupid emotion.
I can't walk
in my kicthen.

Some of you
will know why.

Shit happens.

Friday:
okay.
Halloween
was pretty much awesome.
I got a nice amount of candy
and spent the day
with my greatest friends.
Matt was kidnapped
by a bunch of Kids
in masks with bats.
They brought him back
and threw him
out of their car
with his wrists bound
in nothing but his boxor briefs.

Saturday:
My first day of counseling.
11AM,
meet weird lady,
be diagnosed
Told I am depressed
and that they hope
through Once a week coounseling
I can get better
without medication.
I think they've got
to be shitting themselves.
I'd rather be on meds.
That night I went to jackie's
There was a little
too much drama
going on between
my friends Robbie and Glen.
Not getting involved.
I passed out for a little,
then Nicholas...
Said it.
"I love you."
I'm very delighted.


Sunday:
Wake up too early,
Cold shower,
Rushed out of house,
Lose Soccer game,
get dressed in car
on way to Rehab,
Spill water on jeans in car,
Have menal breakdown,
punch self in forehead
out of frustration,
Cry for a little,
see dad,
miss dad,
eat dad's cookies,
meet dad's friends,
sit through a boring orientation,
See dad again,
eat more cookies,
say goodbye then leave.
Drop mum off at soccer game,
leave with sister
buy wendy's
talk to sister about my depression.
Learn about my godsister
and whats really going on with her.


I miss you so much kerry,
please don't kill yourself,
please get better
please let me visit you
in the hospital
I miss you so much
I want to see you asap<3